The Secret Government Warehouse was a secret government warehouse operated by...some division of the Centralian government. Nobody really seems to know which.
The warehouse was "cleverly" disguised as an unremarkable civilian logistics facility, with the sign out front reading Southwest Distribution Center. Of course, the sign listed no company name, vehicles with government license plates were frequently seen entering and leaving the facility, and the "Southwest" distribution center was actually located in the northeast region of Centralia, but nobody seemed to notice or care.
Alicorn Maps dispute
In 202X, AlicornSystems added the Secret Government Warehouse as a waypoint on the Alicorn Maps navigation service, offering turn-by-turn directions to the facility. After several tourists showed up at the warehouse just to take selfies to post on social media, TzeTze, at PrincessAlice's request, contacted Alicorn to request the warehouse be removed from the map.
After several months passed with no response from Alicorn, Tzetze deployed an alternate solution: He opened a hookah lounge called "Secret Government Warehouse" in a nearby town, hoping Alicorn Maps would divert search results to the lounge rather than the actual warehouse. Somehow, this worked.
However, the plan quickly got more complicated, when the Centralian counterintelligence agency informed Tzetze he would need to establish an actual warehouse at the hookah lounge and a hookah lounge at the actual warehouse, "just to throw people off." Fortunately, Tzetze had planned for this, giving the hookah lounge an industrial-themed interior. Wait, does that bouncer actually have the proper training to be operating that forklift??
Trademark dispute
The Secret Government Warehouse-branded combined hookah lounges/secret government warehouses quickly became an unexpected success, leading the vague government agency responsible for their operating to start a chain of Secret Government Warehouse lounges/secret government warehouses throughout Centralia. Shortly after, however, the vague government agency received a cease-and-desist letter from a competing chain of lounges/warehouses called Southwest Distribution Center. Tzetze offered the executives of Southwest Distribution Center some hashish as a compromise, but they told security to "get that scraggly man who always covers his face out of our offices at once."
Freight delay and highway obstruction
On January 27, 202X, officials from the RoyalPost contacted Tzetze's office, reporting that a shipment of cursed hookahs had been delayed in transit. The destination for the shipment was listed as "Secret Government Warehouse", but the carrier was not told whether this meant they were to be delivered to the hookah lounge or the actual secret warehouse. To make matters worse, the truck driver had simply stopped in the highway awaiting further instructions, obstructing traffic and really irritating everyone at the RoyalHighwayPatrol.
Tzetze admitted that he hadn't been informed which of the facilities were simply lounges and which were actual secret government warehouses, so he proposed splitting the shipment between multiple facilities. He requested information about "how cursed" the hookahs were, leading Princess Alice to request the Safety Data Sheet for the freight. However, the shipper was unable to send Princess Alice the documentation, as her fax number contained several heart emojis, which the shipper's fax machine was unable to dial.
The situation was...uh...resolved?...when Tzetze ordered the shipment be diverted to the Non-Suspicious Public Government Warehouse pending further investigation. It seems like everyone just kind of forgot about it after that, so there's just a trailer full of cursed hookahs sitting in a parking lot somewhere. I guess it's someone else's problem now.