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| '''Princess Meredith:''' I learned a lot from that, but also I never want to do it again. | '''Princess Meredith:''' I learned a lot from that, but also, I never want to do it again. |
Despite spending many years on Earth, ruling over a majority-human population, PrincessMeredith felt she did not have a good grasp on what the everyday life of a human was like. One day, Princess Meredith had an idea: to better relate to the experiences of her human subjects, she would become human for a day.
As you may well imagine, Princess Meredith was not well-prepared for the less pleasant aspects of life as a human. Within the first 10 minutes of Meredith's transformation, her partner, DameAdorabelle, realized that Meredith would need very close supervision to avoid accidentally harming herself...or worse.
Contents
Hunger
(Princess Meredith barges into Adorabelle's study.)
Princess Meredith: Adorabelle, I need some advice. I feel a strange emptiness deep within myself...and that emptiness seems to be giving me a compulsion to shove organic matter into my mouth.
Dame Adorabelle: It sounds like you're hungry. You should eat something.
Princess Meredith: I see. What shall I eat?
Dame Adorabelle: Well, since this is your first time eating, you should start with a special treat. Down in the shopping mall just outside the palace grounds, there's a BetterBurger restaurant. Why not go try one of their world-famous cheeseburgers?
Princess Meredith: Then it is settled! I shall make my way down to this "BetterBurger" at once!
(A short while later, Meredith comes stumbling back into Adorabelle's study, clutching her stomach in pain)
Princess Meredith: Adorabelle, help! Something is wrong with my stomach! I think this is what you call "pain"? What did I do wrong?
Dame Adorabelle: Huh. You just had a cheeseburger, right?
Princess Meredith: I started with one, but the sensation it caused in my mouth was so delightful that I ended up eating several more.
Dame Adorabelle: How many did you have altogether?
Princess Meredith: After the seventh one, the BetterBurger staff refused to sell me any more.
Dame Adorabelle: Oh dear...you're going to be in for a rough time, my love. I suppose this is as good a time as any to explain what a toilet is for...
Sleep
(Princess Meredith throws open the door to Adorabelle's study in a panic.)
Princess Meredith: ADORABELLE, HELP! I THINK I AM DYING!
Dame Adorabelle: Whoa, whoa, don't panic! What's wrong?
Princess Meredith: I seem to be losing my ability to...be? I do not know how to describe it. My body seems to simply want to...shut down. AM I DYING, ADORABELLE? IS THIS WHAT DYING FEELS LIKE?
Dame Adorabelle: No, no, no. You'll be fine. I think I know what the problem is. You're tired. You just need a little bit of sleep.
Princess Meredith: This is why humans sleep? Your day-to-day existence must be abject torture!
Dame Adorabelle: All mortal creatures need sleep. It's just in our nature. Now come on, I'll lead you to a bed...
Dreams
(Princess Meredith enters Adorabelle's study looking deathly serious.)
Princess Meredith: Adorabelle, I need to talk to you. Something deeply concerning has just transpired.
Dame Adorabelle: Did you not sleep well? I know you were really really tired...
Princess Meredith: On the contrary, I am feeling refreshed and full of energy.
Dame Adorabelle: Then what's the problem?
Princess Meredith: In the midst of my "sleep" session, I somehow found myself transported to what seemed to be another world. I was seated at a dining table in the kitchen of a small house. You were nearby, making pancakes at the stove. I picked up a newspaper from the table and tried to read it, but the words kept changing, and they never made any sense. The next thing I knew, you were gone, and I was wandering down an empty corridor that seemed to have no end. It was only then that I realized I was not wearing any clothing. I continued walking, calling out your name as I went. Then, abruptly, I found myself in this world once more, lying in the bed exactly as I had started. Naturally, I was quite alarmed at what I had just experienced, so I immediately came up here to speak to you.
Dame Adorabelle: It sounds like you just had a dream. Dreams are always kind of confusing like that. It's nothing to worry about.
Princess Meredith: You mean to tell me this is a known phenomenon? Humans regularly get transported to strange alternate worlds while they sleep?
Dame Adorabelle: No, see, you didn't actually go anywhere. It was a dream. A fantasy. It only happened in your mind.
Princess Meredith: So...I am experiencing vivid hallucinations? The situation is much more dire than I thought. I am calling upon the Royal Physician at once.
Dame Adorabelle: There's no need for all that. Nothing is wrong. Dreams are supposed to happen while you're asleep.
(Princess Meredith stares down at the floor, apparently deep in contemplation.)
Dame Adorabelle: Are you going to be OK, dear?
Princess Meredith: To be honest...those pancakes you were cooking in the dream looked rather appetizing.
Dame Adorabelle: I'll tell you what, Meredith, sweetie: Let's go over to my kitchen, and I will make you the best pancakes you've ever eaten.
Princess Meredith: But I have never eaten pancakes before.
Dame Adorabelle: Then I have a pretty low bar to clear, don't I?
In summary...
Princess Meredith: I learned a lot from that, but also, I never want to do it again.
Dame Adorabelle: That summarizes all the best experiences in life, really!