Diff for "HumanForADay"

Despite spending many years on Earth, ruling over a majority-human population, PrincessMeredith felt she did not have a good grasp on what the everyday life of a human was like. One day, Princess Meredith had an idea: to better relate to the experiences of her human subjects, she would become human for a day.

As you may well imagine, Princess Meredith was not well-prepared for the less pleasant aspects of life as a human. Within the first 10 minutes of Meredith's transformation, her partner, DameAdorabelle, realized that Meredith would need very close supervision to avoid accidentally harming herself...or worse.

Meredith's new experiences

Hunger

• (Princess Meredith barges into Adorabelle's study)

  Princess Meredith: I feel a strange emptiness deep within myself...and that emptiness seems to be giving me a compulsion to shove organic matter into my mouth.

  Dame Adorabelle: It sounds like you're hungry. You should eat something.

  Princess Meredith: I see. What shall I eat?

  Dame Adorabelle: Well, since this is your first time eating, you should start with a special treat. Down in the shopping mall just outside the palace grounds, there's a BetterBurger restaurant. Why not go try one of their world-famous cheeseburgers?

  Princess Meredith: Then it is settled! I shall make my way down to this "BetterBurger" at once!

  (A short while later, Meredith comes stumbling back into Adorabelle's study, clutching her stomach in pain)

  Princess Meredith: Adorabelle, help! Something is wrong with my stomach! I assume this is what you mean when you talk about "pain". What did I do wrong?

  Dame Adorabelle: Huh. You just had a cheeseburger, right?

  Princess Meredith: I started with one, but the sensation it caused in my mouth was so delightful that I ended up eating several.

  Dame Adorabelle: How many did you have altogether?

  Princess Meredith: The BetterBurger staff cut me off after about the 7th one.

  Dame Adorabelle: Oh dear...you're going to be in for a rough time, my love. I suppose this is as good a time as any to explain what a toilet is for...

Sleep

• (Princess Meredith throws open the door to Adorabelle's study in a panic)

  Princess Meredith: ADORABELLE, HELP! I THINK I AM DYING!

  Dame Adorabelle: Whoa, whoa, don't panic! What's wrong?

  Princess Meredith: I seem to be losing my ability to...be? I do not know how to describe it. My body seems to simply want to...shut down. AM I DYING, ADORABELLE? IS THIS WHAT DYING FEELS LIKE?

  Dame Adorabelle: No, no, no. You'll be fine. I think I know what the problem is. You're tired. You just need a little bit of sleep.

  Princess Meredith: This is why humans sleep? Your day-to-day existence must be abject torture!

  Dame Adorabelle: All mortal creatures need sleep. It's just in our nature. Now come on, I'll lead you to a bed...

In summary...

• Princess Meredith: I learned a lot from that, but also I never want to do it again.

  Dame Adorabelle: That summarizes all the best experiences in life, really!

CategoryVignettes